By Doris L. Omdahl, LMHC, RPT-S
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Registered Play Therapist
Dreams are the result of our brain working to make sense of our daily experiences. Preschool children believe that dreams are real events. The difference between a dream and a nightmare is how scared the child becomes. Dreams are usually a reflection of the changes and transitions that are happening in the child’s life.
Nightmares are scary dreams. They can start when the child is two years old and become most frequent when the child is between the ages of three and six. Nightmares usually happen late in the sleep cycle, between 4 and 6 am. Almost every child has nightmares from time to time. Nightmares are usually a reflection of the stresses the child might be facing. They happen more often after a stressful physical or emotional event. Accidents, violence, tragedies, traumatic events such as surgery, abuse, death of a significant other, or a natural disaster, will most often trigger nightmares. Events in nightmares are usually remembered, and the child can tell you about them. It is common to have the same nightmare over and over again. One of the most common childhood nightmare is being chased by a scary person, animal or monster.
Night Terrors are less common than nightmares. They usually happen during deep sleep, between 1 am and 3 am. The child having a night terror will often wake up screaming or crying. He might be sweating or breathing heavily. Usually children don’t remember the night terror. Night terrors and sleepwalking require the parent to protect the child during sleep. Parents might need to use toddler gates on staircases and refrain from using bunk beds for children who sleepwalk. Night terrors usually decrease, as children get older. They often stop completely when the child becomes a teenager.
- Monitor what the child watches on TV
- Avoid repetitive watching of disasters and accidents
- Avoid watching scary movies
- Go to the child’s bedroom and provide comfort
- Stay with the child until he settles down
- Talk to the child calmly and be supportive
- Stay with the child until he calms down
- Encourage the child to talk about the dream
- Encourage the child to come up with an alternative, happy or funny ending
- Next morning, after describing the dream, you can encourage the child to draw his dream, paint it, act it out, and tell a story about it.
- Explore what the child’s bad dream might mean; sometimes nightmares are symptoms that something out of the ordinary is happening to the child
- Talking about the bad dream can help decrease the power of the nightmare.
- Make “going to bed” a quiet and relaxed time
What not to do
- Don’t wake up the child when you go to his bedroom
- If he is awake, don’t let the child get into bed with you. This will give the message that his bedroom is not safe, and might create a bad, difficult to break habit.
- Don’t make light of the nightmare
- Don’t ignore the child
- Don’t get angry
When a child is exposed to a traumatic or stressful physical or emotional event, it is likely that he will develop nightmares. It usually takes about 6 months for the child to get used to what happened. If nightmares continue after this time, and disturb the child’s sleep and rest, his ability to function during the day might be affected. When all the reassurance of the parents doesn’t seem to make a difference, and the nightmares cause ongoing problems, you might want to seek professional help.