By Mariano E. Velazquez, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Many times we see our teenagers in a bad mood: they seem sad, irritable, and avoid socializing with the family. We often ask ourselves if this is just a phase or is it much more? Teenagers face many disappointments such as making poor grades or not making a team, or being left out of a group. Sometimes these disappointments are taken in stride, and sometimes they turn into depression. Sometimes a sad mood may last only a few days and our teenager gets over it and becomes involved with something else or other friends. When a sad mood persists, however, it is time to really look into what is taking place.
When our teenager seems to be in a persistent sad and irritable mood, it is time to focus on what else he or she is displaying. Depressed teenagers loose interest in activities that once were very important to them. They often complain of being bored and not being able to enjoy things that once brought them pleasure and enjoyment. Many teenagers like to stay in their rooms and only come out when necessary; however, withdrawing from family and friends to the exclusion of all activity might be a sign of depression.
Teenagers are irritable at times and when questioned, might be disrespectful. However, a constant irritability and disrespect can be a sign of anger, which is how teenagers display their depression. Dare-devil behavior can be another sign of depression. This also goes along with breaking the rules. Teenagers do not show depression in the same way as adults do; therefore, a teenager who becomes promiscuous, whose grades decline or experiments with drugs could also be depressed.
Depressed teenagers may also show their depression by changes in their eating and sleeping habits. They may suddenly begin to eat too much and put on weight, or eat much less and lose weight. They might complain of being unable to fall asleep like before or waking up during the night. Some teenagers might have a tendency to sleep too much. However, sleeping until noon for some teenagers is normal and not a sign of depression.
Teenagers who are depressed might see their grades decline; this might be due to lack of interest and motivation, but it could also mean their ability to focus and concentrate might be affected.
If you determine that your teenager might be depressed and you would like to help him, the following are some suggestions: it is best not to interrogate him, but to casually ask him if something is bothering him. Let him know that you are available if he wants to talk. Make an effort to listen without giving advice or being judgmental. If you see that your teenager displays irrational thinking and thinks in generalities, suggest that there might be other ways of looking at the situation. If your teenager has isolated himself, offer to provide activities of his choosing and encourage involvement in groups and clubs and even volunteer work. Also, encourage physical activity. Physical activities can help a teenager feel better because the brain produces chemicals which makes a person feel good when exercising.
If you hear your teenager talk about death and dying, it is time to act. Counseling and medication should be taken into consideration at this time. A teenager who gives away his most treasured possessions might be contemplating suicide. Do not be afraid to talk about feelings of suicide; talking about suicide will not give your teenager the idea to do so. Talking will also help you make the decisions you need to make in order to help your teenager.