The Power of Purpose
By Doris Omdahl, LMHC, RPT-S
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Registered Play Therapist
During the course of the human development, we face certain important transitions that often are accompanied by crisis. The first significant transition is the “terrible twos.” During this time, the child undergoes a process of separation and individuation, where he realizes he is a separate human being, and not a continuation of his mother. Another important transition is adolescence. The young person is consumed with the task of finding out his identity, who he wants to identify with, who will become his role models, and what values and principles he will follow. Then, there is a third transition, usually called “The Middle Life Crisis”. It is usually during this time that we wonder, “What is the Purpose of my Life?”
During this third transition, the person might be faced with several losses. He might have experienced the death of a parent, the loss of a job, the move of his children out of the house, the engagement of another child. These losses remind him of his limited time on earth, and eventually make him more aware of his own mortality. It is during these times that some of us start building the family tree, to make sure our children –by now grown - will understand our background, our history, and where we came from. During this time we also often ask ourselves: “Did I make a contribution to this world?” “Did I make a difference?” “What is the legacy I am leaving behind?”
The Purpose of Life has to do with what we want to accomplish, to achieve, and what contributions we want to make. It has to do with the meaning of our life and the satisfaction of life. It involves developing a deeper understanding of who we are, and why our life has been as it has, so far. However, this purpose is a process because our goals change, as the meaning of our lives changes, at different stages of our existence.
The Purpose of Life is usually accompanied by a Vision, a Mental Picture of what we want to achieve. This vision becomes the motivating force that empowers us despite fears and disappointments. This strong vision becomes then “our passion”.
Rachel Snyder once wrote: “Life is a dream, and to live it, you must be awake.” How do we know if we are living our dream? Ask yourself these questions:
- What are my skills, and which ones do I enjoy most?
- Am I using my most enjoyable skills at work?
- Do I feel fulfilled with my job?
- Do I have a philosophy of life?
- Do I take the risks to live my philosophy?
- Do I feel a sense of purpose and meaning in my life?
- Are my short term and long-term goals related to my purpose?
- Am I living and enjoying life right now? If not, what are the changes I should make?
From the three transitions listed above this third one is the most challenging one. It involves introspection, courage, and the willingness to change old patterns for others that will make us feel more fulfilled. However, changing patterns can be difficult; use your support system (relatives and friends) to talk to and communicate with. If you don’t have a support system or if you feel that this transition becomes too difficult, you can seek the emotional support of a mental health counselor.